Tuesday, 31 January 2012

LABOR’S WIGGLE ROOM (Spectator leader Jan 27)

The world of children’s politics was rocked to its foundation last week with news that Kev will return to the limelight, replacing “hired hand” Julia who has stood in for him for the last eighteen months.

Proudly donning his yellow skivvy, Kev announced that following his abrupt departure in 2010 he realized he had “unfinished business” and that over the Christmas break he had happened to have informal discussions that led to him being asked to rejoin the original lineup of ‘Captain Magic Buttons’ Arbib, “’Cocky Want a Cracker’ Howes and ‘I Want to Wear the Jacket’ Shorten.

“The opportunity was too good to pass up,” said Kev, grinning excitedly. “We always made beautiful music together and the kids love us. With such famous songs as ‘Hot Potato - Ode to the Carbon Tax”, “Great Big Man In The Red (Wayne’s song)” and our Broadband hit “Knead Some Dough” we brought politics to a whole new level of silliness.”

Tightly clutching her own tattered yellow skivvy, deposed band member Julia struggled to fight back the tears as she complained to a packed press conference that she had been ostracized and treated badly all along. “During my time I contributed enormously to the achievements of the group,” she said, citing in particular “We’re the Cowboys,” “Wheels on the bus (have come off),” and her personal favourite “Can You Point Your Finger (at the Opposition leader)?”

“On top of that, I can single-handedly take credit for our best-selling DVD ‘Captain Featherbowen Fell Asleep on the Smugglers Ship’ and its mega-hit “"Our Boat Is Rocking on the Sea,” which has been hugely popular as far afield as Indonesia, Malaysia and Afghanistan.”

A spokesperson confirmed that Kev will rejoin the group for a sell-out national tour before the end of the year.

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