And so it begins; a nationwide rollout and
arguably a monumental waste of taxpayer’s money. I refer, of course, not to the
National Broadband Network itself, but to the advertising campaign to promote
it.
A snaking optical beam, the lovechild of a
green light-sabre and an angry garden hose, whizzes around the nation,
connecting us to each other and ushering in the dawn of a new era. The sun is
rising over a green hillock (the light on the hill, perhaps?), as a friendly
neighbour trims the hedge. Mum and kid, ensnared by the green thingy, wave goodbye
as Dad heads off to work. The city glimmers on the horizon, so we’re not
exactly out in the sticks, so no need to mention our two new satellites. The
semiotics leave nothing to chance. There’s a white picket fence that would
tickle John Howard’s fancy and hardly any cars. Luckily, there is a bus stop handy
or a nice gentle hill to cycle to work along should you be the sort of person
who switched your lights off for an hour on Saturday night in order to save the
planet. Which isn’t the non sequitur it may seem, given that this new campaign
to sell the merits of the NBN is courtesy of the ad agency behind Earth Hour,
Sydney’s formidable Leo Burnetts.
The light-sabre/garden hose graphic would have
made a great animation device (at this stage the campaign is print and radio
only), but at least it also works as a typeface, boldly informing us that
‘Australia’s National Broadband Network is on its way to you.’ As far as snappy
and intriguing headlines go, it’s not quite up there with DDB’s famous “Lemon”,
although there are those who would argue that that might have been more apt.
This is the sort of headline that bureaucrats
love and copywriters despair of. As is the wont these days, to understand
precisely what’s on offer you have to visit the website where “on its way to
you” is spelled out with an interactive map. Checking out my own suburb, I
learn "work is to commence within three years." Having just done some
home reno’s I'm aware that to your average tradie that sort of promise is open
to interpretation.
In what is hopefully not an omen for the NBN,
the print ad also carries a QR code – one of those crossword-looking boxes that
were the coolest internet fad a couple of years ago but are now largely
redundant.
“Stage 1” has been helpfully highlighted on the
ad, so we can assume that that is the most important part of the brief. Having
worked on the ill-fated NSW Labor’s “Metro” campaign, I can confirm that “Stage
1” is adspeak for “we’ve got to show that stuff is actually happening because
we’ve been banging on about this thing for years and nobody believes it’s for
real.”
According to the tautological
blurb, Stage 1 involves a “three year rollout plan (that) includes those areas
where the network is active, where construction is currently underway and where
work will commence within the next three years.”
As Malcolm Turnbull was quick to
point out: "That doesn't mean it will be completed. It
doesn't mean it will be half completed, and says nothing about how many will be
connected."
Branding the campaign as spin,
Turnbull claims it is “very duplicitous saying there will be 3.3 million
households in areas where work is… 'planned to commence by June 30, 2015'.” At
the press conference to launch the rollout, NBN CEO Mike Quigley remained vague
about the precise figures, preferring TV-friendly hand gestures and
obfuscations such as “continue to ramp (up).”
None of which is surprising,
because the “rollout” campaign is not what it pretends to be. The numbers, the
timelines, and all the details are a necessary smokescreen to disguise an
overtly political ad campaign as a legitimate government information campaign,
in order to justify spending taxpayers’ money on it. At their press conference,
Julia Gillard and Stephen Conroy were unconvincing on the detail but couldn’t
hide their excitement about the political strategy – holding a tantalizing jar
of lollies out to the public and then snatching it away if Abbott gets elected.
“Your access to broadband is not
safe if there is a change of government,” threatened the Prime Minister, neatly
conflating her public network with any and all broadband systems, which may be
OK as a re-election soundbite but is somewhat misleading as part of an
information campaign.
“What Malcolm Turnbull is trying
to sell to this country is a candle compared to a lightbulb,” spluttered
Stephen Conroy, clearing getting mixed up with his Earth Hour metaphors.
